Mr Jones and Me
It was one of those nights as Silas called them. One of “those nights”. The words trailing into breathlessness as they escaped his mouth. One of those nights when all the necessary elements were...
View ArticleShirt Tales. With Back End Attached.
This is a tale about the narcotic influence of beautiful women and how they can lead one to forget cherished principles and political values, how they can cause a confirmed anti-fashionist, recovering...
View ArticleVerbatim Vs Verbatim Extra
Our hero has just entered an exclusive bank establishment at the invitation of an Internet acquaintance when it occurs to him (he has been known to think fast, but that is usually later in the...
View ArticleLinks Galore!
Celebrity endorsement time. Who do we have walking into the studios? It is super soul diva Patti La Belle herself! Hey, Patti! What a pleasure and a privilege.Actually, I am Cicely Tyson. Cicely who?...
View ArticleThere's a darkness on the edge...
I support gay rights. The state should not withhold a person’s rights just because the state does not like who that person is sleeping with. Gay people should be free to do every single legal thing a...
View ArticleMatters of The Heart
You know what we need? We need toilet waiters. Like as a job, you have a person whose responsibility it is to welcome customers to the toilet and make them comfortable.“Good afternoon, sir. Welcome to...
View ArticleThe internet as a research tool
Despite what you may think, I occasionally do engage in intellectual pursuits.Such as arguing.I was embroiled in a fascinating one recently, stemming from the Pastor’s Hummer. I posited that Uganda is...
View ArticleThe Pastor's Hummer
Okay, Lulu, this is a long one. Buckle up.From a conscientious reading of the gospels it is evident that they are not to be taken literally. They are not written as a constitution or a rule book. They...
View ArticleHigher Learning
First the apology for the long and unexplained absence. I was ill, so I had to go to my mummy’s house where I could be surrounded not only by the warmth of love, but also with home-cooked meals, Series...
View ArticleRandom Thurroggits
In this internet cafe they advise patrons to avoid porn sites and offer this option instead: "Ask any of the staff members to set you up with an adult movie." Wait till Nsaba hears about this.Where the...
View ArticleUBHH
Uganda Bloggers Happy Hour. AKA National Geek Conference. Such delightful people. I wish I had met you lot five years ago. Then I wouldn’t need all this Prozac. We chattered and chattered and quaffed...
View ArticleTwo Nations Come Together To Fight Enemies Of Development
The Minister of Heritage, Culture and Social Services in Kenya and the Minister of Tourism, Sports and Culture in Uganda have embarked on a joint project to improve the lives of the citizens of both...
View ArticleRandom Mathurrogits
1. I’m Ernest Bazanye. I duck and I weave and 12 rounds later, there’s not a scratch on me? You may not call me the winner, but I don’t call me a loser.2. I tell you what I think, but I won’t tell you...
View ArticleI have something to tell you: Your ten-year-old son is a rapist
Africa is a beautiful continent. Rich in natural resources and full of beautiful people, colourful cultures, and kick-ass food. I love it here. It is home and it is the only place I know. I want to...
View ArticleI called Arnold Asaba up and he let me post this
This week I have a special guest. You may remember him if you were literate in the earlier days of the Ugandan press, which is when he was the original Slim Shady: as career misogynist of the Sunday...
View ArticleJohn Cena Vs Bow Wow
On Sunday yet another Ugandan university got its ass handed to it by a Kenyan institution of higher learning in that uni quiz show on UTV. MbararaUniversity: Putting the "challenged" in Celtel Africa...
View ArticleLinks of fire etc
Everyone who comes within four feet of this young man falls instantly in love. I know. I have only met him once and he has already started kukularing me. He is named Pete and he is now the star of his...
View ArticleTear him for his bad verses, tear him for his bad verses!
Ugandans don’t care about the environment. Well, you might, but that that mob doesn't. If Ugandans gave a shit, why would we still have a problem with buveeras and why would people still not be using...
View ArticleNerd's Eye View. By Mordecai. (This was a long long long long time ago)
On April the seventh I found myself standing in the middle of Kampala Road with no trousers on.Instead (to stave off any alarm on your part) I was wearing shorts; khakhi, with dozens of pockets on...
View ArticleNerds Eye View (and I got another crib)
I am not chucking blogger, it is just that it takes too long to get logged. Even from the Café. And as I always say, "I have things to do and people to see. This money ain't gonna make itself." I am a...
View ArticleCelebrity Endorsement Time
Yo, Ram John Holder, better known as Porkpie from the eighties sitcom Desmond, what have you got there in your Celebrity Blog Endorsement Bag? RJH: I have a lotta links, kid. Check this out: Samali,...
View ArticleSomething transcendent
A phenomenon. This man was larger than his height and weight. This man was history.P.S. I don't think I am coming back to blogger. From the looks of things. I like Wordpress. It is bright and roomy and...
View ArticleMaybe if we called him L-Mac?
She called me a pansy, because I told her I own a volume of Louis MacNeice. And I laughed. Because that is ludicrous: How can I be a pansy? I am Ernest Fucking Bazanye, for crizzy! But I do reside...
View ArticleJoin the light side
The Wordprexodus continues apace. We have your Ivan, your Cheri, your Lovely Amphibian and your mataachi too. We know that Joshi is there somewhere, but I can't find him. Once I do, I will let you...
View ArticleI think I'm back
Wordpress has been telling me odd things the past few days. Things like, "We have concerns about some of the content on this blog". Actually, not things like that. Exactly that. They add, with a...
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